A Real Love Potion that Works: Somatic Magic (Part 1)

At one time or another, many of us humans have centralized our attention on trying (hoping, praying, wishing, fantasizing, intending!) to find the ideal partner. We’ve come up with all kinds of intelligent schemes, spent exorbitant amounts of time shopping for potential mates on Match.com, conducted rituals with love potions—the long list goes on!
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The usual problem with these approaches is that when attention is directed so intensely outwards to some future, external, unknown “other,” our own essential energy gets scattered and confused…and here's the secret: hidden within our own essential energy is exactly the love we're craving!

The simple thought “I want to find the perfect partner for me” can easily snowball in the mind into obsession and fantasy and lead to impulsive decision-making that increases suffering (believe me, I've been there!). Let's pause to investigate that thought. Is there an underlying, foundational thought that proceeds that one? Usually it's something like, “I don’t have the [love/friendship/connection/passion] I need.” Investigating further, you will likely find that that thought comes from a feeling of lack ["I feel lacking in love, lacking in connection"].

Any feeling of lack is a hard place to start from to find a good partner. Are you attracted to people who exude lack?

So what is the alternative to frantic partner-seeking from a place of lack, you may ask?

For starters, try this simple, step-by-step magical love potion:

1. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and imagine your ideal partner sitting across from you. What qualities is that person bringing to you? Is it heart-felt love, sexual passion, quiet peace, vibrant fun…? Let these qualities arise naturally.
2. Notice where you are feeling that quality in your body. Do you feel love in your heart? Do you feel excitement bubbling up from your belly? Do you feel warmth and pleasure in your pelvis?
3. Take a pause. Realize that YOU, right in this very moment, are the experiencer of this quality.  Now reflect: Is it your unknown "perfect mate" supplying you with this quality, or are YOU supplying yourself?
4. Allow any pleasurable sensations [warmth, tingling, smoothness, fluidity or anything else that feels good!] to spread throughout your body. Observe the perimeter of these sensations and watch how they expand.
5. Take another look at your ideal partner across from you. Does this person have any words of wisdom to share with you?
6. Take another breath and slowly open your eyes. Give yourself a moment to pause and reflect.

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The happiness, love, and peace you imagine your ideal mate will bring you starts and ends with YOU—your relationship with your Self.

I’m not saying you won’t find a great mate on Match.com, as I’ve heard many success stories from friends! It’s just that if and when you do find a great match, it will likely come from someone who's inner awesomeness is attracted to your inner awesomeness. And then once you are “with” that person, sustaining the relationship in a harmonious way will require directing your attention back at yourself and doing your own “inner work" anyways!

By focusing your precious life force energy on your own internal alchemy--by directing your awareness towards cultivating love inside yourself--you will soon attract a partner whom you really desire.

But!...at that point you won’t need a partner because YOU will embody all the love you need. And this is where it gets good! Instead of needing each other and placing demands and expectations on each other, you will enrich each other’s lives, bring each other joy, authentically share experiences, and choose what you want to create together. Now that sounds like fun!